Positivity

There’s a reason relationship building is so important between the client and their therapist. It’s so that when they tell you that you’d benefit from a positive attitude you don’t get up and leave. Dr. Stephanie Conn (2020), former police officer, current psychologist highlights some pretty neat research on the importance and benefits of looking on the bright side. 

To clarify, before I lose you, here, a positive attitude is equated with realistic optimism; a person acknowledging the very real adversities they are facing while maintaining hope or faith that they will succeed/survive. It doesn’t mean denying difficulties and adversities rather, believing you will get through whatever is thrown at you. Research supports both the direct and indirect health benefits of this optimistic view. 

Negative emotions or states are categorised in two quadrants by Dr. Marc Brackett, author of the book Permission to Feel (2019). The red quadrant represents high energy and low pleasantness, this is what anxiety feels like. That rush of adrenaline mobilizing the body to fight, flight, or freeze along with unpleasant feelings/emotions such as worry, fear, panic, dread. The second quadrant for negative emotions is blue, low energy, low pleasantness. This is what depression looks like, feeling miserable, lonely, hopeless, despair. These negative states can cause our focus to narrow which means our minds are less open to seeing solutions, thinking outside the box, so to speak. 

These unpleasant or negative feelings shouldn’t be avoided altogether as they alert us to danger, violations, unjust treatment however, its pretty obvious holding onto them for the long run can really compromise one’s ability to search and find viable solutions to problems or acceptance of situations they can’t change. 

More on that. Conn shares some finding from Fredrickson (2009) where it was found that people with a positive attitude perceived more options when faced with difficulty, were more flexible and open-minded and therefore developed more personal resources over time. 

Some of the suggestions proposed by Conn (2020) and company include; 

Developing hardiness, the perception of difficulties as a challenge rather than a threat. When we approach a challenge, we generally believe we can rise to the occasion and overcome what’s in front of us. However, when we’re faced with a threat our mind, body and brain prepare to fight or run away. A challenge inspires us to approach optimistically and a threat inspires fear which prompts us to retreat. Simply put, the next time you’re facing something hard, will yourself to see it as a challenge and you’ll be better equipped mentally and physically to rise-up and overcome it. 

Another recommendation is to try and be more playful, a good sense of humour, spontaneity and a light-hearted disposition. This playful disposition holds the ingredients needed to help us be resilient when facing difficulty. Conn also explains so eloquently that having a positive attitude doesn’t mean that you see the world through rose coloured glasses, ignoring the bad and seeing only good. This wouldn’t be healthy or adaptive and isn’t what’s being suggested here. Instead, resilient people see the bad AND the good. For example, social media and the news are filled with examples of people who are hurting others. We have to choose to see kindness in people, to look for the everyday heroes, and focus on the love and happiness that is present along while acknowledging the bad. 

Having a carefree, positive attitude is a choice. Challenge yourself to look for the next opportunity to make that choice and experience the difference. 

Conn, S. (2020). Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel – Strengthening Your Mental Armour. 

Brackett, M (2019). Permission to Feel – Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help our Kids, Ourselves, and our Society Thrive. 

Also Check out The Mood Meter App to help increase your emotional language and your social awareness.